Thanks, Mom

(This entry is a finalist in our Good, Bad, and Funny honeymoon story contest.  There are 16 stories, please vote for our winner by adding a comment to your favorite.)

Have you ever felt you had one of those mothers who just can’t seem to let go of their child? Well, mine went way beyond that!

From the day I announced I was getting married, Mom took over. Forget the fact that I was a successful 22 year-old running a production company with nearly 200 employees, my mom just couldn’t believe I could handle anything myself. Nor would she trust my bride-to-be to do anything either. While that part may be typical of most mothers, what happened at the wedding luncheon and beyond took the cake.

Realizing the wedding was now over, and this would be the final place she could show her dominance, Mom turned the talk to sex. Given that we had just left the Salt Lake Temple not an hour earlier, this took a few people by surprise. Mom began speaking of what we would do and got everyone to share some pretty personal experiences, then everyone started tossing in their two bits. While discussions of sex were not taboo in our home, my poor bride had grown up in a home where sex was never discussed. In fact, it wasn’t until she was 17 that my wife found out how babies were made. To hear my mother go on about sex and the honeymoon activities, looking at the looks on her parents’ faces and watching her grandmother cringe nearly killed her.

Once the luncheon was over, we headed for the hotel. This was a scary time for my bride. As sex has never discussed in her home, the idea of having sex and actually getting down to it was terrifying. At least we were alone! But then again, were we? After only a few hours, and with my wife finally over the initial fears and cozying up to the idea of spending a night alone with me doing what newly married couples do, we sat naked on the couch under a blanket catching our breath and enjoying the moment. There was a loud knock at the door. “Room Service” the voice called out. Rushing for a robe, or anything to allow me to cover myself, I went to the door and my wife ran for the bed. We didn’t order room service I said through the door. “Room Service” the voice said again. Thinking maybe the hotel had included something in our honeymoon suite package, I opened the door only to find my mother holding a large Dunford doughnut and a Big Gulp (Coke).

She barged in and said “I’ve brought you some sugar so you can keep your energy up…You know you’ll need it – You’re a Shepherd!!” She peeked around the room, made a comment about the jacuzzi tub, yelled “good luck with him” to my wife and finally left.

To this day the visit from mom is brought up at every opportunity.

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